Sun. Apr 21st, 2019

First date rules we all forgot about…that we should now remember

I hate first dates, they remind me of job interviews and I hate those too. You walk into a room and everything you do is put under a microscope, your make up, the way you dress, your posture. They’ll take two seconds to go through your CV before judging your whole existence. Whatever happened to “thou shall not judge?” The pressure is unbearable. This is why first dates can make or break a relationship. Lucky you if you both like each other.

While on twitter I saw these screen shots of a conversation this guy had with a woman he had the worst first date ever. If you’re like me and been on twitter long enough then you know how guys tend to blame women for their trust issues. They’re embarrassed when women take screen shots of them pouring their heart out and post them all over social media. I need not remind you of the infamous Vera Sidika VS Otile Brown case, I mean, who could forget that?

I hate to admit it but I loved these texts. They’re funny with a hint of drama. Looking at these texts we could actually learn a thing or two from them so take out your note book ladies. First things first, this may be a day after their first date and I believe the guy was looking to go out again until everything went south.

First Date Tips

Whoever asks the other one out pays the bill.

Who pays the bill on a date is as old as time itself. Do you go Dutch? Do you pay for your own bill or wait until he whips out his wallet to pay? Thing is, men used to pay and that’s because guys asked the ladies out on a date. Here’s how I picture it, whoever asks the other one out pays the bill. If you ask a guy out, that is, if you’re really into him and wouldn’t mind making the first move, take him to a place you can afford. Plenty of fast food restaurants combine their junk food and other dishes like rice, pasta, fish and salads. The food on their menu is relatively affordable. Cross your fingers and hope he won’t order the fanciest dish on the menu though.

If you can’t afford it, don’t order it!

This girl however decided to ask the guy out then order lobster and wine. I found out how much that would cost in Kenya and I’ve decided to save it for a piece of land somewhere in Machakos, retirement manenos. Here’s something most of us forget, if you can’t afford it, don’t order it. Plus, if you wanted to treat yourself to a nice meal, you could’ve just ordered a take-out instead, watch a movie on your laptop then go to bed like everyone else.

Go prepared to pay your own bills on a first date!

Another thing, I know plenty of women will agree with me on this one. First date these days can be scary, why? Men, somewhere along the way decided they owned women. When he pays for your drink or meal that automatically means he owns you, scary right? Just to be on the safe side, go prepared to pay your bill, always.

Calling hims names for not paying your bill is uncalled for.

“I’m a student, not your sugar daddy” sounds rude but it’s the truth. A guy clearly explained his financial strength, he’s a student and everybody’s struggling out there. She then tries to shame the guy for not being ‘gentleman’ enough then accused him of being gay, hilarious. Calling him names for not paying your bill is uncalled for. This guy texted back even after a first date from hell but you’re calling him names, someone feels entitled. I will not judge women who opt to have ‘sponsors’ on the side for financial gain but what we’re not going to do is insult young struggling men for not keeping up with your lifestyle, something you didn’t even work for. Be humble. Yes, am proudly team girl child but secretly team boy child.

Some topics are a total turn-off.

Striking a conversation on a first date is difficult; you don’t want an awkward silence in between or topics about the weather to sneak up on you, as tempting as it may be. Normally there are certain topics you want to steer clear off, like politics, religion and ex-boyfriends or potential boyfriends. Men hate it when you talk about your ex or any other man in your life that is not your dad or brother. This girl somehow decided not only will she talk about a guy she liked but how much she wanted to make out with him. Guys won’t admit this but it’s such a big turn off, who does that?

Rules to Remember on a First DateDo not beat around the bush!

A guy who’s genuinely interested in you will ask if you’re seeing someone, if it’s serious and if he’s welcome. If you don’t like him let him know immediately, don’t beat around the bush, don’t feel sorry for him or tell him to try later. Cut him off from the start. Don’t also ask him out on a date then talk about other guys and the fantasies you have of them. Save him the trouble and let him go.

Lastly, this one cracked me up.

 

Girlfriend, you knew he wanted to sleep with you, from the get go. I guess that’s why she ordered such a fancy meal. Until he refused to pay for it, he’s a student dear, not your sugar daddy. Don’t you just hate it when that happens.

Jokes aside. I hate how we’ve turned dating as a route for some quick bedroom action. Whatever happened to connecting with someone on an emotional level before getting physical? The ninety day rule? Saving myself for marriage? Courtship maybe? I miss those days when you got to know someone for a while before getting intimate with them.

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