Thought you found the one?
Disclose your way!
Did you babble out all your secrets?
Has fate done you good?(in case you believe in it)
Oooh well! It’s never a ride in the park.
At no point had it been how I craved for it to be. My scars grew dreadful, my hands flattered to paleness and the flawless skin that captivated a million eyes were at a demilitarized zone. That just wasn’t me. I had lost it all: the beauty,the sensation and worst of all, a life. A life of love. How could one lose a life at such a tender age of eighteen? We’re all prone to faults, but the worst you’ll ever do is lose track of yourself in the process of loving. Poor me, I had grown a victim.
It all began with pancake lifts; not with flowers like most men approach women. I guess that was kinda different. I was definitely a big enthusiast of pancakes and for sure, he’d put me on his tips. The mystery behind him knowing my love for them has never been revealed. Other than the fool I think he is, he had some little brains. How could a guy gain my attention and choke the love out of me just by a pancake?
Months were too long for me to say yes. We’d just been seeing each other for a few weeks and I just couldn’t keep the thought of having him in the friendzone. Yeah, I had taken it a little bit faster. Fast enough for me not to see the slavery he had been inculcating in me. Life wasn’t fair! How could I have not seen it coming. Was I too blinded by love?
The weekends that I had been fantasizing to be fun day out changed to drugs day out. Not that bars were cheaper than restaurants, but I just couldn’t get it. Why would he want to demolish my life. Couldn’t he do that to his own and get me out of his dirty deals. That wasn’t even enough! We would get out of those nasty places late in the night and he’d take me directly to his place. My spot wasn’t a good idea, as I was hiding the drunkard I had grown to be, from my friends.
“Now clean this place.” That was the only vocal that would come from him before the drugs took him to sleep. I wasn’t that much of a drunkard and neither would I have slept in that pathetic dirty room. Of course I’d tidy it up, and he took advantage of that.
Ever heard of loyal slaves? Yeah, I had become one. Not even a single buddy of mine had a clue of the miserable life I had been living in that relationship. I had been hiding the monster he was from everyone. (Contrary to how it should be). All I needed was the strength to say no, and once I got it, I swore not to return.