I really love Facebook. For I always say, Fb burudani, and also, Fb ni bae ?. Its here I can easily find slay queens, (Instagram inakula bundles my fren?). Otherwise am a humour mongerer so half of my Facebook friends are cutups, jesters, humorists, kibitzers and whatever you call them in your language.
So this morning I woke up. My phone is on the table. My data is still on. Do I even know how I went to bed last night? Was it even yesterday? Nililala Leo nikaamka leo!
140 notifications! Aha! What the hell is going on? Brian heartbeat ya Kenya liked a photo you were tagged. Fundi mistari said he was with you and sixteen others at Uhuru parks. (Saa ngapi Sasa) The things go skrrrrr bla bla bla.
In my DM there is this slay queen who has texted me. “Hi cutee, today is my birthday ?, am now officially accepting gifts in form of money, dinners, phones and treats. Najua hautaniangusha awwww ???” Had no reply as so I took my next action.
A notification pops up, so lemme check. There is a post in group Kenya. Wow! Group Kenya (linked) is a home of 2,428,367 members. This means, if you’re a FELEB(Facebook celebrity), you post fectches not less than 1000 likes and comments.
Well there is this guy, I don’t know what is cooking in his head. He has just raised a debatable point. He has posted “MEN ANSWER THIS IN 5SECONDS. BAE AM PREGNANT. ”
As much as am a member, I can’t comment, so acha nione mapro.
One Millicent Lorren Achieng Aya had her list or reactions if she was in that situation. Here is what she thinks, “common reactions… Who’s responsible… What.. Am not the one.. You have to abort this.. I can’t be a father now.”
A combination of preceeding members have motherly advise:awe inspiring. Linet Barasa says, “Usitoe huenda akawa Matiang’i”, Dess Deco implies, “keep it ” while Mo Bizz replies “wow! I love you bae. “
But there is this other group who are in denial. The won’t take responsibility. This is what they have to say.
“DNA first or open the server”
“I remember we used a condom when we were together. ”
Then this guy pops from nowhere and comments, “si nilimwaga nje???. “I hate when he laughs.
This post won’t stop me from loving Facebook. But it has given me the big Q, what if tommorow am asked the same question? Food for thought!