Thu. Apr 25th, 2019

The Campus Lunch Boy

Lunch boy

This is the story of a love struck fresher who never stops running into bad luck. Does he really run into bad luck or it is bad luck that keeps bumping into him? Yes, he’s a guy.

A guy with a female friend. Or rather “friend.” These two are always inseparable. At least that is what comrades on the campus grounds may think. But in the eyes of reality, he is the one who doesn’t want to be separated from her. She only needs him during the lunch hours. That’s the only time she texts or calls him.

Ask him how they met, he will give you the details. Details of how he was on the admission line when he saw her. Chewing gum and constantly fanning herself with a handkerchief. He would remember the red trouser, black rubbers that matched the top and even the date.

Ask her how they met. She wouldn’t remember a thing.

Ask him how he got her number. He tells in details how he tried severally. Always going back like a dog seeking its Master’s approval after being turned down. Then smile widely while telling how he managed on the twelfth of October 2017. He survived three weeks of being brushed off. What an achievement.

Lunch boyAchievement? Really? In reality, she was to falsify a number to get him off her back. Stop him from always ruining her moment. But stop him she didn’t. She was about to save Dumba wa Dumba’s numbers, one that she had read a post somewhere when the Mpesa text popped up on the screen.

Boy graduates with First Class Honours from being a boring stalker to being the first person to be hugged in a crowd. But she’s not hugging him, she’s hugging the Mpesa text. After all Mwanaume ni Pesa, sura nitavumilia. Turns out that she’s a parasite who loves being one.

After the three hour lecture that would last from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm, she would text to ask him to escort her ‘kwa Sam’. Sam is the guy operating the best hotel at the Student’s Center. Gladly he walks by her side, happy to be of help.

Her phone mysteriously switches off while inserting the till number. So she asks him to pay. He does pay. He doesn’t ask himself why a phone that was being used to take selfies a few minutes ago has gone off. It’s his first time doing this. The first time is always the worst. Then just like losing virginity, one gets accustomed to it.
He thought that vampires only existed in the movies and that they only sucked blood. He was “friends” with one in reality. One which had an obligation not to suck his blood but rather his pockets. He would still try as much as possible to fix her in his daily lunch plans because he likes her. She, on the other hand, would be too busy enjoying the fruits of being a light skin.

She needs him only when she needs him. He is her means to the end. But he never sees it. The thought never crosses his mind that he is being used. Blinded by love. That cursed emotion that bores holes in the hearts of campus guys. Having someone who does good things for you is not bad. But taking advantage of that goodwill, not fair.

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