We all have those bleak days.
Once in a while you wake up and no, the planets are not aligned on that particular day. Nothings rests well with you. After opening your eyes, contemplating getting out of bed becomes an internal battle and that’s when the questions begin.
Why am I here?
What am I doing?
I’m I happy?
Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?
Do these routines ever end?
Days are hard but I keep going, why?
Is it because of the money? No, money isn’t and shouldn’t be reason enough because what happens when it’s no longer coming in?
Where do I derive my satisfaction from?
What if I acquired the money that I’m striving for, would I still do what I do with similar zeal?
Is this it? Is this what life was meant to be for me? To wake up, go to work, come back exhausted, spend long nights on work that I’ll die and leave, eat, sleep and the cycle continues?
These are the places we are taught to and teach ourselves to evade for they will lead you down a dark, endless hole from which only self destruction sprouts.
At the end of the day methinks, serving and the giving of ourselves to others is what gives life meaning and a purpose. Otherwise you become a zombie hoping to stumble onto something that will lessen the emptiness, the unfulfilled desires and the un-achieved expectations.
One of our lecturers, Professor Ojwang’ once told us during his introductory lecture that:
Most of all, the essence of life is making and leaving an impact in society so that when you are gone, with all the academic knowledge you acquired in your lifetime, your contribution to the community will remain even as you lay 6 feet under. Build that school you think your community needs, start a dispensary… you have a role to play in community and the impact you make is what makes life worthwhile as you live and even after you are dead.
And this has stayed with me ever since.