I think growing up in a family where everyone thinks that they are perfect is the reason why I never chose a role model. My problems were ‘small’ according to them. Challenges were embraced as long as they brought back something good at the end. As young as 10 years old, I had decided to bottle up my emotions. According to me, that was the best way to fit in a ‘perfect’ family.
I never talked about my ambitions or dreams because they knew better.
This was the plan:
I sit for KCSE and get 400 marks, join a national secondary school get As then join the university and study law or medicine. The decision had already been made. Who would dare question my parents? After all, they knew what is best for their child.
Watching television is something I did not fancy. I liked playing games like draft or playing chess on the computer. Actually come to think of it, most of those games have helped me manoover in the competitive business world right now.
At such a young age, I was overwhelmed. Being me, I still bottled up everything. Later on, I decided to start being an extrovert. I would talk to many people both young and old. All this just to know whether they are also perfect. That is how I began making a lot of friends. That is also when I decided not to have a role model. Those role models are fighting a lot of battles on their own but smile when they are with us.
So I decided to put an end to everything. I had to prove to my ‘perfect’ family that a little imperfection is not bad. It was not easy. All i hoped for is that they would see that and maybe I would let go of all the things that I have been bottling up. Anyway, I am still trying to show them. I really do not know how long it would take but I hope tomorrow will bring forth something better.
All this is just part of my unseen tears. No one to cry on, no one to dry them. I guess some battles we have to fight alone till the end.
This is the least a campus lady goes through.
In a society where their name has already been painted black. No one really cares whether they are breaking in silence or hurting. What most people see is that they are probably seeking attention here and there. They see as if we do not want to focus on our studies. Anyway, I think it is time we heal her because it will be a greater loss when she is gone completely. There is no time to point fingers and start a blame game. Let us heal that broken lady. Let us listen to her and fight with her.