With the social media coming of age, information is constantly available at our fingertips. We have access to the past, the present, and even have the ability to seek out information that will improve our futures. With such power, there is always that need to feed our curiosity, especially about that classmate or that guy you hang out with and are getting interested in.
Furthermore, when in a relationship, you might constantly be wondering about what has happened in the past love life of your sweetheart. You might think about who they were involved with or about the cause of their past relationship’s demise. While it’s okay to be curious, being mindful about how far you’re willing to search is equally as important.
It’s normal to creep on your potential love interest, you know, when you want to lurk on their Instagram and go through their incredibly outdated, cringe-y Facebook albums. But do you sleuth in secret, or are you straight up inquisitive? Could you be exhibiting self-destructive behaviors while actively searching for trouble?
Digging into your partner’s past life could lead to a number of issues that would not be helpful to your relationship.
Digging into your partner’s past without their consent can bring up issues of distrust. Without knowing their side of the story results in unnecessary conclusions being drawn. Avoiding this by bluntly asking your partner questions about their past is one possible solution, but what makes you assume your partner will be comfortable with answering? When you ask about why their past relationships didn’t work out, and they don’t want to answer those personal details you’re dying to know, things can become a little more complicated.
It Could Reveal your own Insecurities with Relationships
If you don’t trust your partner and feel the need to investigate their past, there may be some deeper personal relationship insecurities that you both need to resolve. But, what if your partner just hasn’t cheated on you or they exhibit a change in behavior? It’s important to not self-sabotage your relationship with these little nagging thoughts that end up pressuring you into poor decisions. Trusting your partner is the foundation of any relationship.
Communication is more Important
If you feel like there is an obvious lack of trust, be direct. Don’t beat around the bush when inquiring about certain information. Be transparent and communicate with your partner about the suspicions that you have, especially when there is unease within your relationship. As opposed to checking up on that one girl’s profile from 96 weeks ago (and being very careful to not double-tap anything), ask your partner first and assume second. The communication that is put into that one conversation alone will be a big indicator for the direction your relationship.
Let’s be Real!
Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to lurk your partner’s socials. Instead, take the time to understand this element of your relationship that needs to be tactfully, yet thoroughly, discussed. Recognize the need for more communication and transparency within your relationship, and keep things as honest as possible for both you and your partner.