Kenyan tomatoes, are nodding to what Eliud Kipchoge captioned,”No human is limited,” only that they are not human. Dressing in what I call “bei ya juu,” the softheaded commodity has decided to extravagantly use our money for the benefit of who knows what! But ‘hata hatujasikia vibaya!’
In a very successful case, it looks like onions could not send ‘fare.” Now the slaying tomatoes have ditched them. They have landed into the powerful arms of high prices, rolling with apples in the same Whatsapp group. Onions are now in tears after their union was unexpectedly cut short. Their breakup confirming the song that never went to studio,”mtaachana tu,” or this famous African phrase,”it will end in tears.”
Campus Relationships under threats from Tomatoes
The shocking relationship between apples and tomatoes has nearly broken the already weakened campus relationships. There has been a shortage of these golden commodities in hostels, making some of the dishes that comrades survive on unpalatable. Mama mbogas in vibandas are shamelessly displaying heartbreaking “4 tomatoes for 100” price tags. These tags leave their beloved customers running back to their hostels to eat food without the precious fruit – or is it a vegetable? You decide.
By today, some will joke that if you have a tomato,then you should ask for escort. Some have even suggested that the FBI, Nyumba Kumi, Campus Security and Kenya Airforce must provide escort. That it is only advisable that you have a troop following you around that you cannot be robbed of this fruit, that has been named as a bitcoin competitor (see the value that it has?)
More expensive than a handkerchief
In the past week, as a university student, you must have realized that you are losing friends. I do not want to say that lack of tomatoes in the noodles you cook is the cause but we can all see what is happening. It is the gospel truth that apples and tomatoes will be officially spending their nights not in vibandas but the same bed. However hard that is to swallow, we can all pray that, waachane tu.
Onions, whose value has depreciated due to the union of apples and tomatoes, are still bitter but cannot struggle to match the standards required. While both of them shared the same telegram channel by spending their youthful days in plantations, hugging each other’s price once in a while, let us all hope for change. That tomatoes will think through their decision, sit down and be humble. Because there’s no way one tomatoe’s price is equivalent to one pair of happy socks, handkerchief or even a second hand boxer in Githurai 44.
So as you walk through the corridors of campus, kindly convince apples to raise the bar a bit higher and stop rolling with people belonging to a lower social caliber.Tomatoes should also be lectured. Let them know they are hurrying to get married yet they have not even experienced adolescence. Please,do not have a ‘nyanyaswad’ day!